Final results and self expectations

Salam everyone. Hello readers. Pressure sikit lah lately especially after dapat results. I literally have no one to turn to except to my few somebody’s I feel comfortable being with.

1^st few days tu I felt so numb and taken aback with the news I didn’t even have the heart to update most pple with it. The closest three who 1^st I spilled the bean with were my bapak because he’s home, mom because she’s mom and fatin nabilah jailani because no one in the world can top her bitchiness ( Her grades were pretty as always). She’s just my true Suze in shopaholic. And there were also adol and zatie(my serena), who texted me as soon as they got the news J. My forever sweethearts/heartthrobs.

OH Gentle reminder by Izzati Aziz ‘Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.’ Thank you love ! So soo true.

A couple of days later which was yesterday, baby alia texted me to update me with her beautiful results. I’m not a big fan of texts/msgs and didn’t have the wits to wait so we ended up on the phone. HAH better! So alia memang ada cable seantero dunia jadi bertali aruslah results orang lain TERshare sekali.

Ada good news and bad news. The good news is I sangka ramai my colleagues lain result cantik 3.8 above because kita budak design were the crème de la crème from 1^st sem, tapi Alhamdulillah-gila jahat kan- semua average juga. Feuh lega. Tapi bad newsnya, boleh pulak favourite studs yang I target archie mostly results marvellous seperti abg joy kita, mai, amal, wahab. Semua ni musuh2 tradisi yang kita tak boleh pandang sebelah mata punya. Tapi sebagai kawan, kena juga happy for them walaupun lump in the throat keep growing tak siapa tau. Healthy competition.. Sokay.

Next, apabila semakin hari saya semakin sure minat lebih kepada archie dan bukan fine art masa tu lah peluang tu semakin slim. 

Kalau ikut grading I think I have quite a comfortable seat, no stool. But the thing is Miss Anum plays a great deal in determining our place in degree whether we like it or not. So I hope hope HOPE she  she will hand pick me into this line. Gosh fingers crossed so hard. And I told mama about this and she said insyaAllah kalau ada rezeki, adalah, kita kena doa kuat2. My reply was ‘ HM kena solatlah lepas ni!’ Dia gelak tak ingat dunia punya lepas tu. Seriously, I nak jadi seorang hamba yang taat pada Tuhan nya and I feel really bad buat lawak macam tu after fikir balik.

Untuk menambah lagi stress and agony, bapak lately keep offering me a brand new notebook to ease my undertakings. I don’t think I want one but he reassured me that I might need it esp. IF I got into archie later on. I know he has a high hope on this one tho he will never tell.  God I would never ever want to disappoint him, especially him. It’s just that I love to impress my dad with everything, you know the urge is not that strong if it was to be my mum. Besides, my dad orangnya jenis if dia nak bagi something untuk anak-anak, dia bagi the best punya unlike my mum dia jenis tak pamper kita dengan perfections dia suka bagi yang perlu2 je. Tapi food mama always bekalkan heaven2 punya.  Ingat lagi I got my 1^st dslr masa form 3, masa tu  tak tau pun betapa stylo nya benda tu so pass to my brother.

Along ni bapak spoilt dia dengan money instead of gadgets. Me, gadgets instead of money sebab I tak pandai spend duit. My baby sister dapat dua2 BIG CISS tapi I fahamlah esp. when she’s the only kiddo at home. Tapi along kira mewah jugak dia standard 6 jinak2 dengan guitar, by form 5 dah ada drum. Pergi US lagi lah loaded with music stuffs. 

Bapak pula dia memang tak lokek dengan anak2 terutama masa business maju tak ingat dulu. T shirts kami adik beradik shop tempat branded je, our shoes memang ikut trend. And along being the first boy bapak experiment dia dengan jeans, flights, abroad vacs. He even naik cruise at six. Oh no cruise was with mama. Tapi masa tu kita naïve, mana tau baju harga berapa semua pun cantik kan. So bila dah besar, bapak n mama slowly cerita time dulu2 kita pun jadi bersyukur sangat sangat. And Alhamdulillah kita tak besar jadi brand-blinded sebab bapak garang kita takut mintak duit. HAHA

Harap2 dapat lah masuk archie and dapat happykan both bapak and mama.

Award mama ada tulis quote ni which I would love to share with everyone. It reads:

You are the center of my family and you always make me feel safe. 

You do everything for everyone else and so little for yourself. 

I don’t say often enough how much I love you or tell you that you are the world's greatest Mom. 

You’re worth your weight in gold! 

Since then, bapak never ending states that he will beat mama and get the same one one day. Good Lord. Same old same old..